So 2015 b-LOWED. For so many reasons 2016 needs to be better.
I’ve lost track of how many years in a row I’ve said this – “hopefully next year will be better”, “let’s face it, next year’s GOT to be better hahaha”, “here’s to a better year”. So is my life just a carousel of crap?
I remember about 7 years ago, dividing the house up during the divorce, and being shocked by how often I wrote those same words in EVERY Christmas card and birthday card I sent to my ex. Every Single Year. And clearly it never did Get Better lol, hence the divorce.
So when did my years turn to crap, what was the last good year I had? Did I ever have a great one? I remember 2000 being full of so much awesome, til the December, when my mum died. And the year after was pretty good. Is that it, did I peak 15 years ago??
But for now, to 2016 with renewed vigour, renewed hope, renewed DETERMINATION. I think a lot of my disappointment has come from SETTLING, from putting up with people and situations that I should have swathed with a knife, instead of allowing them to eat me like tumours.
So, 2016, my sweet thing, this is how it’s gonna go 🙂
- job happiness and security. Put on my fighting boots and kapow back with large doses of awesome. I AM fucking good at what I do, and your negativity isn’t going to stop me.
- be a great mum to Beth. She’s more than the sunshine of my life, she IS my life. Without her, there would be nothing of value, and with her, I have my everlasting reason to fight on and not give up
- relationship – out with the old, in with the new. Mark and I are splitting up in May (about time) which still leaves me hope of finding a man who gives great hugs, understands me, and kisses like Kevin Costner in Bull Durham. Or Scott Foley, ah ….
- making TOUGH decisions, if they are the right decisions. I’ve sat back too much and let life take me where it wants to. I was NEVER that laid-back girl. I was always the girl who went after what she wanted, but compromising for others (“just chill”) has led to me myself being compromised
- eating goooood – since the summer I’ve been pretty much sugar and dairy free which is helping me loads. But I haven’t lost weight yet. Maybe sneaking crisps every day has something to do with that
- let the creativity flow. I need to make time to be creative, and to allow my brain to sing. The gentle drumbeat of my fingers on the keyboard is a sound I love, and which needs to become my anthem again
- Adult Up. Ugh. I’ve avoided this for 44 years, but if I’m going to live on my own, I’m going to have to be responsible with money. Buy only enough food to eat / can be bothered to cook, even if that means more, smaller shopping trips. THINK before I spend. Not just “fuck it” and spend because I’ve had a bad day.
- de-clutter like crazy. I’ve already destashed half my polish collection, and now it’s time to make sure that by May I only have what I neeeeed, rather than what I own. There’s about 40 boxes of stuff in the garage that need to end up on ebay, and that’s BEFORE I ask myself why I need 30 pairs of socks, or 3 pairs of identical boots. Downsize it, Debbie
- REEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDD. Reading feeds my soul, but unfortunately depression ate my reading appetite and reduced it to bite-sized crumbs. Blogging came out of the crumbs. I’m currently halfway through a biography and occasionally snacking on Game of Thrones – nothing stills my head like reading, and nothing fuels my fire and clear-headedness like reading. Reading = Red Bull for the soul.
- Never Give Up
So welcome 2016, welcome. It’s not about THINGS, it’s about BEING. It’s not about tasks, it’s about attitude. It’s not about milestones, it’s about resurgence.
2016, let’s dance 😉