Daring to …. Dating Sites

online-dating-apps

 

It was late and I was bored, so last night I decided to sign up to Match.com to see if I could find my future best friend and one man to treat me right.   Turns out Match.com is raaaaather expensive, so this afternoon, whilst looking at alternatives, I happened upon Zoosk.

 

Zoosk didn’t exist last time I dated (6 years ago).  Back then it was all about Plenty of Fish, which seems to be “free shag dot com”, but as Zoosk links to your Facebook profile, I thought it might be an easier way to examine what’s out there in that there dating pond.

 

The problem is that I live in Lincolnshire.  It’s a sleepy, rural country, 3 if not 4 decades behind the times, and that makes for a very MURKY pond.  It’s not a county blessed with intelligence or good genes, in fact, there’s a distinct possibility of inbreeding, and well, a quick sort through what’s on offer made me shudder …..

Are you ready?

  • Mr Cross-Eyed
  • Mr “LonerWithABoner” – I kid you not
  • Mr “my age says 60 but my photo is 23 years old”
  • Mr “yes I AM licking my bike”
  • Mr “I look like an escapee from ISIS”
  • Mr “I only have a few hairs so I have decided to make them into a FRINGE”
  • Mr “look at my finger … go on, you know what it can do”
  • Mr “yes my mum did take my photo, thanks”
  • Mr “I’ve kidnapped this boy to make it look like I have a son and am therefore not as scary as my features suggest”
  • Mr “yes, it’s actually a blessing this photo is so dark and obscures my features”
  • Mr “yes I do still have all my teeth and boy I’m gonna show them”
  • Mr “I forgot there was a naked calendar behind me …. oops”
  • Mr “Trust me, it’s a good thing this photo’s blurry”

There is some scary shit out there …. maybe that’s why Match.com charges so much, you know, to eliminate the plankton.  Dear God this is going to be a painful ride.

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. Glowstars says:

    I guess you have to do online dating at least once in your life. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea…..

    Like

  2. Mandy says:

    I say you leave Mr. I have my teeth a message! Go out on a limb? Best of the worst??? Lol

    Like

  3. Dan says:

    Match, as well as other ‘premium dating sites’ do NOT eliminate the weirdos… trust me (from a guy’s perspective.)
    I wrote a post not too long ago that you might find interesting:
    https://dan1973blog.wordpress.com/2016/01/29/whats-the-best-dating-app
    This, as well as some other posts I’ve put together might help you on your new adventure with online dating. Just try to give it a little time. If you can make it past the overwhelming start, you might have luck in finding someone genuine and worth your effort. 🙂

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  4. Joanne says:

    Best of luck! I met my husband online, so it does work sometimes. I had to weed through a LOT of frogs before I found my prince.

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  5. Rebecca Russell says:

    Yikes! Hang in there though; I met my husband on Match so it can work. I didn’t have to go through many frogs but my husband was just about to give up when we met. He almost cancelled on me when we met for the first time but he didn’t and we spent 8 hours together that day. Good luck!

    Like

    1. debhoorah says:

      aw, so glad you had a happy ending! xx

      Like

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